Christmas Twister , also known as F6 : Twister , is a 2012 activeness thriller that ’s dreadfully wanton on action and thrills , but positively drip with terrible performing and even worse special effect . But it does have one vast thing going for it : the ( accidentally ) funniest script about regretful weather ever write .
We can forgive its low - split CG , because everything about this made - for - television Twister suggests a tightly control budget . The biggest name in its cast is Casper Van Dien , look a mo more weathered than in his Starship Troopers blossom , but still square toes - jawed and believably heroic . ( await close and you ’ll also descry Steven Williams , forever 21 Jump Street ’s Captain Fuller , but also so great on the last season of The Leftovers . ) secondly - billed is Richard Burgi , whose current gig is General Hospital , but in 2012 was double - hit on Desperate Housewives and One Tree Hill .
Anyway , the cast is mostly “ That Guy from that One Thing ” plus masses you wo n’t realise doing really stinky southerly accent . Van Dien plays Ethan , a serious / donnish / scientific meteorologist who works at a college in small - township Texas . Burgi fiddle Logan , a Ken doll of a TV weather forecaster who ’s plan on ditching Texas for a new Book of Job in New York City — and he ’d surely like anchorwoman Addison ( Victoria Pratt ) to go with him . But she ’s Ethan ’s wife , so that ’s awkward .
Into this sexual love triangle of sorts dip the most powerful twister ever register : a mighty F6 , which evidence inconveniently right before Christmas . ( Oh ! It ’s also Ethan and Addison ’s anniversary . What are the chances ? ) Christmas Twister is the kind of catastrophe movie that prioritise the personal job of its characters WAY above the existent disaster — which is why most of the film is Ethan driving around Texas rounding up his family , while getting CB radio updates from the students he ’s left in flush of his conditions - forecasting equipment back in the laboratory . That the entire film was ostensibly film on a clear summertime sidereal day in Los Angeles — with wild clouds and the occasional wan - looking funnel swarm painted into the shape — doesn’t exactly sum to the suspense .
The screenplay ( clearly write by someone who in spades watched Twister several times for enquiry ) is full of derisory moments , suited for treasure as part of your holiday celebration , preferably with several gallons of strong drink within sleeve ’s reach . There are multiple minute that unfurl without any lot - up to justify the raise emotion they demand , as when the boy that Ethan ’s teenage daughter has a crush on is sucked up into a funnel shape . Noooooooo , character who had zero lines and was advert for the first time just two moment prior ! We ’ll miss you forever and a day … though we have path more feels for the downlike wienerwurst — envision at the top of this post — that ’s left to stoically wander the cautiously set - do ruination for most of the flick .
Interestingly , though , amid its many clunkers , the Christmas Twister script does endeavor to explicate its monster storm as best it can , using totally accurate climate science . When Ethan ’s educatee wonders how it ’s possible for a crack irruption to happen in December , he find fault climate change . “ Thanks to years of abuse , the environs has finally reached a breaking point , ” he says .
( And there is truth to this . See below . )
https://gizmodo.com/9-maps-that-show-how-completely-bizarre-your-christmas-1749490826
But murky cite are made of a fuckup Ethan made in the fellowship ’s late home of Chicago — inaccurate forecasting that apparently lead to Addison mislead her consider public , and an integral town being evacuated , with no storm to back it up . “ He ’s a crusader , Addie , ” Logan enjoin dismissively when Addison wonders if it ’s better to take after Ethan ’s advice to monish people — and be safe , rather than dark . “ These temperature rises are nothing to be dismay about . They ’re all part of the natural cycle ! In fact , some of the hot Day every read were in the earliest part of the twentieth century . ”
as luck would have it , that fiendish climate - alteration denier — his other vile quality is that he keep a framed photograph of himself on his desk — make his own forecasting blunder , deciding to report live from the local ability plant and being all , “ Whut ? Why ? ” when everyone at the station is like , “ Get out of there , man ! ”
That ’s essentially the face I made the entire time while view Christmas Twister , which finish with the climactic delivery of Addison and her intemperately meaning co - worker — and a final - scene suggestion that utterly nothing save up a riotous matrimony from crumbling aside better than a bragging - shag tornado . well-chosen holidays , y’ all !
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tidings from the time to come , birth to your present .
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